WHAT, you don't know who we are talking about?  MICHAEL MOORE.  THE Michael Moore.  Beloved movie director, television personality, and deep political thinker.  He is only one of the greatest humanitarians of our time.  He stormed onto the scene about ten years ago with the international box office bonanza, "Roger and Me."  The exact date is unimportant since his leadership transcends time.   More recently he has done some television, a series, we can't recall the name, but surely it was a major hit.  He is also a regular on the American talk show circuit dispensing his wisdom to a nation eager to be taught true principles.  Among his many accomplishments, Michael is the discoverer of corporate greed, government corruption, and poor people. 

In the aftermath of September 11, Michael has been a solitary voice calling for reason and temperance in our response to the attacks on America on his web site www.michaelmoore.com.

Michael, like the proverbial beauty pageant contestant, simply wants world peace.  He also wants to protect the First Amendment from those who have opinions at odds with his own.  He loves America with all his heart, but must work with all his might to destroy it for its past sins (both real and imagined).  Finally, and most important of all, he would like us to remember that George Bush stole the election.